The truth is men and women are wired differently, and because of this, they see the world in different ways and sometimes respond to things differently. So while, as a lady, your female friends can say some things to you and you would interpret it as intended, it is not always the same with the male folks. What they say is sometimes different from what you might think they mean; which is why if you want to have a good relationship with men, either it is a platonic relationship or romantic one, it is essential you know the world of men and have a fair idea of how they think, what they say and what they mean when they say some certain words. So, here goes:

  1. Just because a man is flirting with you does not mean he loves you. It might be surprising to read this, but it’s the truth. Sometimes, men flirt because they are attracted to you and not because they love you or want to have a relationship with you. So, even if a man’s body language says that he wants you, it doesn’t mean that he wants to be with you. So don’t be quick to assume that the man loves you or wants to date you; wait for him to tell you explicitly that he loves you and wants to date you before you conclude on anything.
  2. When a man says he is single, he doesn’t mean he is actually single. Don’t let this be of a shock to you, but when a man says he is single, sometimes it might mean he has not found the person he wants to marry, not that he is not in a relationship, or he does not have sexual partners. So, the next time a man tells you he is single, be sure to find out from him if he has any sexual partners, or if he is dating anyone before you conclude that he is completely alone.
  3. ‘I want to marry you’ is not the same as ‘will you marry me?’. Just because a man says he wants to marry you doesn’t mean he has proposed. You need to be sure if that is his form of proposal, or if he is just merely making a statement. If he says it is a proposal, you need to find out when exactly he intends to marry you. Is it immediately, next year or in five years’ time? Both of you have to be on the same page.
  4. When a man says he is in a relationship, he means he will not leave his partner for you. Some men are honest enough to tell you that they have a girlfriend or a wife before they start a relationship with you; but because a man tells you the truth about his relationship status does not mean he loves you enough to leave them for you. No matter how hard you try, or how much effort you make, a man will not leave his wife or girlfriend for you, if he doesn’t want to. If you watch the #BBNaija2018, you will see that, even after the shared romance between TeddyA and Bambam, Teddy A insists that he will not leave his girlfriend for Bambam, and that is how most men are. So, as a lady, if you are lucky enough to find a man that is honest with you, that he has a partner, don’t date him with the hope that he would leave his partner for you.
  5. I love you is not the same thing as I won’t cheat on you. Some men have argued that love has nothing to do with having a sexual relationship with someone else. So when a man says he loves you, don’t assume that he means he won’t cheat on you, or have other sexual partners. Ensure you find out from him what exactly his love entails in order not to end up being confused and heartbroken.
  6. I’m sorry doesn’t mean I will stop. Perhaps a man cheats on you or hurts your feelings, and says I am sorry, don’t assume that he means he will stop doing what you find hurtful. What he means by I’m sorry might just be— I’m sorry your feelings are hurt, and not I’m sorry; I will stop doing what you find hurtful. So, if your man tells you that he is sorry, ask him to say it in full, or find out if he intends to stop doing what he is apologizing for, so that you will know what to expect.
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Now, it is possible that you know some of these things, but the truth is there are some ladies who don’t know them. So share this piece with every lady or young girl that you know to get them informed and save them a lot of heartaches.



Nifemi Adekunle

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