Hello, woman of inestimable worth; you are a story in the making, and your story is inspiring. You are created for greatness, you are clothed in beauty and grace, you are a jewel and you are priceless.

I know that there are many thoughts plaguing your mind on the issue of relationships and choosing a life partner; they plague my mind too; now and then. However, I want to share with you some things that have kept me going. I have learnt that my emotions can both be my friend or my worst enemy. Do not allow emotions form your opinion in taking such an important step as to who to marry.  Marriage is a lifetime decision and it should not be toyed with. In as much as your preference could vary from physical features, financial status, career, social status, religious stance, family background and a host of other reasons, I believe that seeking the face of God when it comes to making such a decision is not out of place.

Fear of the unknown, anxiety, peer pressure, parental influence, tribe, culture, and a host of other factors contribute a great deal to our decisions in the choice of a spouse. In fact, for one reason or the other, we have been influenced by one or more of these factors in choosing a life partner. We live in a part of the world where culture plays a major role in the day-to-day living of its citizens; even in governance.

Culture is the reason why there are many conflicting values in many families. It influences the choice of spouse, their tribe or place of origin, as the case may be, and the type of family system adopted by a particular family. By this, I mean, some families adopt a nuclear or polygamous family system. Invariably, a spouse who is brought up in any of these belief systems would probably adopt such when considering marriage.

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Have you done a thorough research on his beliefs and values? Can you vouch for him, based on his principles? Can you accommodate his excesses without hassles or threat to your person? If you can give accurate answers to these questions, you are on the right path. This should be reciprocal; your intended should be comfortable with your values as well.

Peer pressure also plays a major role in choosing a life partner. We can’t possibly marry at the same time as all our peers, but it is on our wish list. It is not healthy to consider marriage as a do-or-die affair. Use this opportunity to observe and learn some valuable lessons that will help you when you eventually take your vows.

You must know if your intended is not influenced by culture, but by true values and a conviction that they are ready to spend their entire life with you. My conclusion is simple; God is the architect of your life, so you need to equally trust Him to bring your Adam your way. Do not rush to meet your Prince Charming without being prepared.  Be expectant, watch and pray; he will show up.

There is only ‘one sure way’ to everlasting love and romance, just stop being the director of affairs; be an actor instead. Yield and succumb to God’s plan for your life, relax and watch your story unfold, be attentive, then act out every script until your story is unraveled.

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