What if you are supposed to say No instead of saying Yes? How do you feel after saying the yes; sad, happy or mixed feelings? If you are a people pleaser then, you tend to put other people’s needs ahead of your own.
Even if you try to do good things, people still find ways of opposing your ideas and philosophies. So, trying to please everyone is a losing battle. You need to focus your time and attention on those who deserve and appreciate your work as well as what you believe is right.
People pleasers want everyone around them to be happy by doing whatever is asked of them to keep it that way. To them, saying yes is a habit and it is almost like an addiction that makes them feel they need to be needed.
To stop being a people pleaser, consider the following tips:
- You need to realise that, you have a choice to say no. It is good to help people, but you need to be sure if you are ready to do the task.
- When you set your priorities right, it helps you to put brakes on people pleasing. Ask yourself, what is most important to me right now? This question will enable you to see if those needs are actually related to your values.
- It is extremely okay to ask for time to think about the issue, so you can give your feedback in some days or hours. This gives you the opportunity to know if you’d be able to commit to helping them.
- Also, set a time limit for people. After accepting to work with them, you should have a time limit. Let them understand the time you’d be free to do the task. Either for two or three hours
- Watch out for manipulators and flatterers. Sometimes, people are just taking advantage of you. So, be careful when people utter words such as “nobody does it better than you.”
- Lastly, consider if it’s worth it. You don’t need to be scared to make a decision even if it’s your close friend. It is your opinion. Stand on your words.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t please some people. You can’t change what they think or feel about you. So, stop being a people pleaser. Your boundaries are your values.
Read Also: The Power of Your Tongue