There is a craving in every human to be loved, accepted, cherished and not subjected to censure and harsh judgment. In the search for love, many women have been disappointed, let down, suffered abuse and atrocities from men; some have even fallen victim to violence in the process. Women (and men too) are naturally designed by God to be receptors to love.

To love someone is to give yourself to the person totally withholding nothing; you give your all to the person without reservation.

Love won’t sleep with you before marrying you. If a man loves you, he will place value on you. A man who is insisting on sleeping with you before marrying you is only showing that he doesn’t have much regard for you; all he cares about is the pleasure he can derive from your body. If he loves you, let him start making plans towards getting married to you.

Love won’t abuse you or be violent with you. A man that loves you will never lift his hand to hit you. If your fiancée is beating you or slapping you, it’s a sign that you are in the wrong company. Also, a man that loves you will not abuse you verbally; the only words you will hear from him are kind encouraging words. And even if he has to scold you, it will be with love not in an abusive language or a way to demean your self-esteem.

Love will seek to understand you. Love won’t suppress your interests; love allows you to express yourself. A man that loves you will seek to understand your person; what makes you who you are, why you talk, act and react the way you do. Armed with this knowledge, he will relate better with you.

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Love gives. Love is all about giving; a man that loves you will give you his time, attention, and resources without holding back, while you reciprocate. The essence of love is giving; it’s all about the other person, what you give or do for them; the focus is not what you get from the person. If you are in a relationship and you are the one doing all the giving, the extent to which you’ve spent without receiving from the other person,  is a sign that you are in the wrong place. Love is a two-way thing; you give love and you receive it in return.

Love communicates, love talks. Sharing is a very important element of love. If you love someone you will talk and share with him or her; you will share your deepest feelings, hopes, expectations, ambitions, fears etc. It’s not good to leave your partner wondering or figuring out on his own what is going on in your mind. If you love someone, you need to open up, communicate and share with each other. Love makes you vulnerable to the other person because there is no part of you, as it were, that is reserved from the person. That is the beginning of the cultivation of intimacy.

Love won’t hurt, harm or cause you emotional pain. I don’t mean there won’t be disagreements, or misunderstandings, I mean love will not consistently, persistently and deliberately hurt you, or keep giving you emotional distress. Rather love will seek to protect you, shield and defend you from assaults. A man who continues to give you heart break for any reason doesn’t love you; he is showing he is not committed to you.

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Love builds. If a man truly loves you, he will seek your growth and development. He won’t be comparing you with colleagues or friends who are doing better than you. Rather he will mentor you and help you be the best in your endeavour; he will support the fulfilling of your dreams.

Love believes the best. Love will never give up on you, never! Love will never get to the point that it says I’m tired of you, I can’t just do this any longer, no that is not true love. Love believes that the best will come out of you; love believes that you will improve, you will get better, and you will amount to something good. If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t believe in you or that you will amount to something good in life, or doesn’t inspire your dreams, it is an indication that you are in the wrong place.

Dear sisters, take a cue from these tips shared above and let God guide you in choosing whom to marry.


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