Welcome to the final topic of my speaking the love language series! Get ready because of all the five languages, I have some pretty strong opinion on the love language, which is Physical Touch. By the way, if you haven’t read my articles on all the other Love Languages, you need to check them out. Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts and Quality Time.
Do you think Physical Touch is your Love Language? You know, touch is tricky. Bodies are sensitive, and to cross into someone’s personal space is a privilege. However, this kind of nonverbal communication requires a lot of verbal communication in order to be done effectively and most importantly respectfully.
To be proficient in speaking this love language, Physical Touch, you must understand consent. Don’t ever think physical touch would come naturally to most people because they are in a romantic relationship. No! Expressing your love through physical touch has to be learned. You just have to learn it because everyone comes from a very different background.
Some people are taught from a young age by their parents how to communicate and express love through touch which a huge fraction of people missing out on this language. Therefore, if one’s parents were abusive, neglectful and harsh or simply not the touchy type, you might give another meaning to the word “touch.”
Well, this doesn’t mean that someone who didn’t grow up with a lot of physical touch love language cannot learn how to become more physically literate. Don’t get me wrong. What is important here is to verbally communicate this particular love language. In fact, do you know that someone who grew up with a lot of physical affection might not easily communicate their love through touch?
Gary Chapman said, “Whatever there is of me resides in my body.” So, physical touch is surprisingly a personal experience. Chapman also emphasised that, “to touch my body is to touch me.” Now, do you understand why physical touch doesn’t come naturally to people? Therefore, it is very important to learn how your partner, family and friends express the feeling of being touch by another person.
To fully understand this particular love language, first, you need to set boundaries. It is completely within your rights to set boundaries around the places you don’t want to be touched. You have the opportunity to decide who touches you, where touch is permitted, how much and how often you are touched. It’s your body and it is the right of your partner to respect that.
Also, you should express how you both feel by teaching each other how to express love through touch in ways that work for you. Gary Chapman suggests that, “you try new touches in new places and let your partner give feedback on whether they find it pleasurable or not.” Just listen to your partner, a touch that you communicated today might be unwelcome tomorrow for many reasons.
It is a fact that physical touch and contact between human beings can foster very strong bonds. Touch is a very powerful communicator and Chapman said, “almost instinctively in a time of crisis, we hug one another.” But, just as touch can create bonds, it can easily break them if boundaries are crossed. We’ve all had memories in life where words were just not enough, so our bodies help to communicate at a deeper level.
Finally, I really don’t need to translate or explain hugs and handshakes. They are the simplest forms of greetings and communication. Cheers!
What You Need to Get Out of This Series
You are different! Your partner is different! To speak their primary and secondary love languages, you need to observe, communicate and discuss things with them. No man is a mind reader: so do well to speak up when you are not comfortable with your partner’s actions.