I have noticed a trend among young ladies; a situation where some ladies are clamouring for a particular guy. Some are fortunate that the guy is interested in them, while for many, the guy is not even looking their way because he has so many options to consider. Sometimes you wonder why fine, pretty ladies are breaking their hearts over a particular guy! Some even go as far as doing things for him that should only be done within the confines of marriage just to “secure” the guy. This eventually leads to frustration while they pierce their hearts with many sorrows when the guy decides to settle for someone else.

The reasons I believe are not farfetched. One major reason is insecurity and fear. Some ladies are afraid that there won’t be someone else to marry them if they don’t marry this particular person. So they don’t mind competing with other ladies to have his attention.

For some other ladies the reason is insecurity and low self-esteem. They don’t feel good about themselves; they don’t see themselves as beautiful enough to attract someone better that is why they don’t want to give up on this particular person. If eventually they get hooked with the guy, those kinds of relationships usually result in abuse; the guy abuses them emotionally, psychologically and even physically, because they are the ones loving the guy instead of the other way round. God designed that a man should run after and love a woman not the other way round – a woman reciprocates the love by receiving it.

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For many other ladies the reason they are lobbying for a particular guy or sticking to an abusive one is material gains. This still stems out of insecurity; because the guy is rich or has a good financial standing or is relatively comfortable, they want to hook up with him or continue to stay in an abusive relationship. But there is more to life than being married to a rich person; being married to a rich person but with a marriage full of sorrows is a miserable life.

Some ladies also want to hook up with a guy because they believe they are getting too old for anyone to marry them. So they are ready to go for the available one not minding if he is deficient in some major areas or he is abusive.

As a lady you need to be rest assured in God’s plan for your life. This kind of assurance is borne out of your knowledge of God’s love for you. When you know that God loves you and has good plans for you and that a good husband is part of His plans for you, you won’t worry about having a husband, or struggle to have a man or be competing with other women over a man. He has said none shall lack his mate, if you trust Him He will bring the right mate to you. You should not allow the fear of getting older or pressures to make you make the wrong decisions; trust God to bring the right person to you.

As a lady you also need to be confident, you should have a good self-esteem and not reduce yourself to playing second fiddle to anyone. A man that appreciates and loves you would come for you and marry you; you should not go for someone that is confused among several choices; that can kind of person has not seen value in you.

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Let the man be free to choose whomever he desires, don’t join other ladies to lobby around him. If he is not yours, no matter the schemes you devise, he will go away and that could lead to more emotional pains for you. On the other hand, if he is yours it doesn’t matter how many ladies are throwing themselves at him, he would come around for you if he is a Godly man.

So sister, stop the lobbying around; stop the manoeuvrings and scheming it is God that sets the solitary in families, He will give you your own; He will establish you in your marital destiny.


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