For you to be assertive, you need the interpersonal skill you’d use to showcase confidence. Also, being assertive gives you the courage to stand up for yourself and for your rights without disrespecting the rights of others.
The major trait you’d see in people who are assertive is honesty. They hit the nail on the head. So, if you are bothered, you tend to speak up and if you want something, you request it. However, if the result turns negative, you should not be angry. Assertive beings don’t get angry based on unanswered request. Brett & Kate McKay said, “it doesn’t hurt to ask, but actually helps to ask.”
According to a research, the benefits of assertiveness has outweighed its side effects. Being assertive helps you to improve your relationships, to be less stressed, to gain confidence, to be less resentful, and to increase your self-esteem.
Well, creating an assertive mind set helps to not just move forward but to move smart in the daily activities. Here are few points to note:
#1 You Need to Set Boundaries
As human, if you don’t set your boundaries, people will take you for granted. The boundaries are rules and limits you create for yourself to guide and direct others as to what is allowed around you. Wayne Levine calls boundaries “N.U.Ts or Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms.” So, your N.U.Ts are things you are committed to.
#2 Take Responsibility
Being assertive helps you to realise that your problems are yours to fix. Do not expect people to fix your problem. Therefore, you need to take action if truly you are unhappy with what’s going on in your life.
#3 Don’t Blame Others
This helps you to understand that you are not in charge of other’s feeling. It is not your assigned duty to worry about other’s behaviour. When you know this, you’d be less stressed and you’d no longer spend wasted hours thinking about your friends who are not happy about your choice.
Once you have this mind set, you’d understand that saying no to some decisions has its own benefit. Therefore, you need to consistently build on yourself. Remember, it takes time and practice.
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