Love may be a many-splendoured thing but, when it ends, the pain can be debilitating. The more passionate and out-of-this-world the highs are, the more agonising and devastating the lows tend to be.
At first, the last thing a heartbroken person wants is to recover. They’re too busy being in denial. What’s there to recover from when it hasn’t truly ended? Then denial gives way to anger; how could they, after everything?
Only when you acknowledge reality, then true healing can begin. These seven ways can help you mend your broken heart:
Feel the emotions
Allow yourself to feel it all. From the anger over what has happened to the fear that you may never find love again or the sheer anguish of having loved and lost. Grieve, but only for a while.
Stay away from love songs
Where there is no wood, the fire goes out. Don’t feed your pain! The songs about people in love will sharpen your sense of loss. The ones about heartbreak will cause you to sink deeper into misery. Other songs may make you want to beg your ex to take you back.
Don’t go begging
The urge to grovel at your ex’s feet and ask them to take you back may be strong, but you must be stronger. Whatever you do, don’t humiliate yourself by trying to change the mind of someone who has decided they do not want to be with you.
Let it go
A clean break offers the best chances for healing. Do not contact your ex, re-read their messages or stalk them on social media. Sever all ties, take them off all contact lists and don’t dwell on your memories with them. Your goal is to move forward and leave the past where it belongs: behind.
Closure is overrated
Don’t get hung up on it. Seeking for that last conversation or an explanation will only keep your heart from mending. Trying to go over everything with them for “closure” is not necessary for your healing. Getting closure is when you move on with your life.
Beware of the rebound
You will find love again, but don’t rush into it. Using someone else to get over your ex is unfair to that person. As soon as you begin to recover, people tend to start matchmaking and pressuring you into dating again. You need to be careful. Even if you meet the right person, starting a relationship before your heart has mended can set you up for disaster. Allow yourself to be whole again. That way, the right person will know the real you when they come along.
Life isn’t all about being in a relationship. Relish friendships, delight in the work you do and revel in the warmth and comfort of loved ones. Find new passions, hobbies or projects. Every day is precious, so never waste a moment of it.