Marriage is a beautiful institution designed by God. In God’s definition, it is the union of a man and a woman for life, to the exclusion of others. Being in love with someone is a beautiful experience. You can see love and romance around the two love birds; they can’t do without each other; they are always together. They frequently exchange text messages, calls and gifts and the man showers the woman with love and attention.
Eventually, the love birds get married, they are overjoyed; and then they start having kids. The husband starts to give more attention to his career; the wife too is swallowed up by the demands of motherhood and responsibilities of a wife, combined with a booming career.
Their schedules become so busy that they hardly have time for each other. Conversation between them is gradually reduced to exchange of pleasantries and small talk. Gradually they begin to grow apart and if care is not taken they become estranged.
This can however be avoided; marriage can grow sweeter like true wine as it ages. you and your spouse can be intimate couples into old age.
Make time out for each other
It’s easy to be caught up by the hustle and bustle of life; targets to meet, deadlines to beat; deliverables to clients, children to tend, ageing parents to take care of and so on. Couples need to deliberately create time for each other to relax, talk and catch up on events in each other’s lives. You could schedule a date, get a babysitter for the kids and just unwind, talk and enjoy each other’s company; or you could decide to spend the weekend at a hotel away from distractions and just relax.
Schedule vacations with your spouse. There are awesome vacation places you could visit. Vacation is important because it not only helps to relieve you of stress; it also helps you to bond better with your spouse and family. When you take time off to unwind and spend time with your spouse and family, it reinforces your union with your spouse and also makes your family better knitted. You could have annual vacations to resort places either in the country or outside the country.
It’s a popular notion that love making for a man could be instantaneous, but for a woman it is a romantic process which would have begun in the morning to be completed in the evening! Before you got married, you used to exchange romantic text messages; the man sends flowers, gifts and organizes pleasant surprises for his woman. This should certainly be continued after marriage. You should always seek opportunities and seek avenues to express your love for each other.
Make love regularly
The importance of sex in marriage cannot be over-emphasised. Sex is a way of expressing intimacy. Sex is the only unique thing that you share with your spouse that you don’t share with others and that is what sets you apart from being just friends or roommates. Sex requires a deep level of communication, you need to talk to each other about intimate and emotional things, you need to tell your spouse where you like to be touched. Make your lovemaking time, a time to share and express love for one another while you enjoy the pleasure. As you make love, express your feelings for each other, tell your husband how much you love him.
Studies show that when sex is taking place, the hormones that express happiness and the emotions of love are being released. A marriage where there is no sex is like dry stale bread to the mouth. If a man is not being satisfied sexually, he is open to temptations; it is the covenant responsibility of partners in marriage to satisfy each other sexually.
Deal with stressors
There are many things that could be the source of stress and these could affect a marriage. Demands of house chores, nursing a child, career etc., could strain a marriage. To deal with this, it advisable to put up a viable support system and structure. This could include having a nanny or babysitter for the kids; having occasional dinners at a restaurant instead of cooking; have a house help etc. Having a viable support system helps to relieve you of stress and frees up your time for more productive things which includes investing in your marriage.
Communication is very important in a marriage relationship. Couples need to express their feelings and emotions to one another; they need to talk about issues. Your spouse does not know what is going on in your mind unless you tell him or her and you should not give him or her the task of figuring it out. Couples need to talk about how they feel; some people believe that it is better to keep quiet and bottle up their emotions, because opening up makes one vulnerable. Others because of fear of rejection, or being misinterpreted prefer to remain silent. However, this only leads to more tension in the marriage, creating an atmosphere of strife and hostility. Communicate with each other with love and respect. Resolve issues by talking about them, and embracing the learning point instead of blaming each other and starting another stream of argument.