This is my story…

So there I was, with a heart full of love and arms empty. Totally rejected. To put it gently, I was disoriented and very, very confused. To put it bluntly, I was a wreck.

For a while, I tried to rationalize his decision and have some control over what had occurred. My thoughts constantly churned in my head as I tried to come to some sort of resolution. This was exhausting and pointless. I eventually had to accept the fact that I’d never fully understand what happened and why. And that’s when the true ache set in.

A pain I could not control crashed over me, knocking me down and leaving me completely paralyzed with heartbreak. “What is the matter with me?” I cried out to God. And not the cutesy one tear, makeup-is-still-intact, movie-star kind of cry. I’m talking about the ugly kind. Red cheeks, tear stained face, the whole bit.

The man I totally trusted, who knew me better than most, decided I wasn’t worth it anymore. So doesn’t that say that I’m worthless? His actions made me feel as though I was nothing, that I had no value. That is the underlying message when someone leaves us, when someone hurts us. If we were valuable enough to them, they wouldn’t have walked away in the first place.

This kind of pain shapes and scars us. We start to believe that our pain was deserved and that those who wronged us did so because they knew. They knew who we really were. And we start to believe it: that we deserve to be left, to be hurt, to be alone. But that is a vicious, seething lie that we must not believe.

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In my times with God, I’ve realized that I’m worth much, much more than the pain I’ve experienced. The person that hurt you didn’t treat you with the love, respect, and dignity that you deserve. You are loved beyond measure and God’s heart breaks when yours does. He has taught me that the abandonment I experienced had nothing to do with my value as a person. NOTHING.

I am God’s child. His heir. His princess. His beloved. His creation. And so are you.

Your circumstances and your past do not reflect your value. But Jesus does. Jesus died for you, suffered for you, laid down his life for you. Because you are that valuable.

Because he adores you and delights in you.

Because he wants to keep you safe and protect you from harm.

Because he loves you more than you can even fathom.

I don’t want the men who have hurt me in my life to speak for my value anymore.

If I let any man speak for my value with his actions – I’ll let it be Jesus.

This gives you and me great freedom. We no longer have to hold on to bitterness and anger toward those who have hurt us because their actions don’t reflect anything about our hearts, bodies, minds, and souls. In the midst of our healing, join me in remembering what Jesus has done and what it says about you.

Your value is secure. Even when your heart is breaking, even when you are hurt beyond measure, even when you feel small and sad – your value is spoken for. Irrevocably.

You are loved, admired, adored, and taken care of. Forever. The pressure is off. Because you will always be enough to the man that means the most.

 

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