If you could look back at younger you, what would you tell her? I’ve have spent so much time wishing I would have known these lessons sooner. I wished someone would have seen what a terrible mistake I was about to make and told me something… literally anything would have been better than silence.
Life does not work that way.
Sometimes lessons have to be learned hands-on.
Although I wish I could be there for you whenever you’re about to make a huge mistake or make a decisions based on someone’s idea of what your life should be. I cannot. No one can.
My hopes for this post is that you take away at least ONE LESSON. I don’t want you to think that you’re alone in life. That no one is looking out for you.
It’s incredibly difficult to navigate life as a woman, but here at Empowering Women Now I got your back.
1 . High school is weird… for everyone.
Hormones are at their all-time worst. Remember to be kind. At the end of those 4-short years you will never regret being nice. Looking back at those years I regret being so mean. I wish someone would have told me that those things I told those girls would live with them way past the high school years.
There was no reason to be so cruel. When you’re young you do not see the damage, your words can make. You do not understand that the choices you make will follow you for the rest of your life.
2. Take care of your body.
Who else ate Hot Cheetos and soda every day for lunch?
Yup, that was me. I did not care about my health and thought, future me will get it together. I wish I would have started earlier. The younger you are the easier it is to start good habits. Just as an example. Me and my friend are the same age, same height, same weight. She ate relatively healthy and played volleyball. I did not. In only 2 years it all caught up to me.
Point being that your body changes consistently in your 20’s and 30’s.
My motto now is to do something to stay active & eat a salad every once in a while.
3. Always stand up for yourself, no matter where you are.
You are going to experience sexism in your life. That is a fact. Be ready for when it happens to you and stand your ground. The first time I was exposed to blatant sexism I was in shock that I did absolutely nothing. For weeks I did nothing. I honestly did not know what to do. I finally had the courage to find help. I talked to HR. It was one of the most difficult things I had to do.
If you’re experiences sexism in the work place my best advice would be to create a document noting the comments or actions the person is doing along with a date & time. This document will provide the proof you need.
Unfortunately, many times we get told that it’s all in our heads or that we are being “too sensitive.” Provide a document with facts on facts and no one will be able to deny the truth.
If you feel scared to stand up for yourself remember that if you let it continue, that person will harass another woman and another. When you stand up you’re not only standing up for yourself but everyone else. Be brave.
4. Someone will break your heart real bad, but that does not mean you break someone else’s heart in return.
This isn’t a tit for tat game.
Don’t waste your time thinking of how you’ve been burned in the past, holding onto grudges, bringing baggage that does not belong in a relationship.
Let karma do her thing. Move on, and trust me, you’ll find the right person.
Let go and make room for the good.
5. Don’t set limits for yourself.
Whether you want to become an entrepreneur, dancer , firefighter, pilot, or singer, the world is your oyster. Like they say, the only things coming between you, and your goals are excuses.
6. Be a bit rebellious.
If you want to live your life on your own terms, you must be a bit rebellious. It means standing up to those who want you to lead your life on their terms. Like a controlling spouse, or a control-freak mom, or a micromanaging boss, or those who believe mending your ways is their birthright, like a mother-in-law.
Have you taken a little step in the direction to lead your own life? One of my favorite quotes is:
“Well-behaved women seldom make history.”
7. Never underestimate the friendship of another woman.
Don’t create rivalries; shun jealousy and competition and accept your friends for who they are, free of judgement. Help other women up. Women friends are invaluable.
Reach out to your girlfriends, don’t lose touch. They are your tribe.
On average, women live longer than men. In fact, 57% of all those ages 65 and older are female. By age 85, 67% are women. The average lifespan is about 5 years longer for women than men in the U.S., and about 7 years longer worldwide.
I don’t know about you but I want my tribe of women to be the old ladies you see McDonald’s drinking coffee in the morning. I want our relationships to last a lifetime.
Financial independence and freedom must be on every human being’s top priorities. As a woman, you will be in a great place when you understand how money works and how to earn more without having to necessarily trade hours for dollars. Take courses that teach how money works and how to build wealth, regardless of your relationship status. A great program to learn about how to take control of your finances and build wealth is:
9. Never stop learning.
I’ve become so confident in myself. Not because of my looks, not because of what I wear, but because of what I know. Knowledge is power. I feel confident in my ability to talk to anyone about anything. Although I might not know everything. I can keep a conversation going for the simple fact that I’ve continued to learn. My favorite place to learn is Lynda.com. Check with your library and see if they offer it for free.
10. People will expect you to be married.
The decision is up to you. Let me say that again because so many of us miss it. Getting married s entirely up to you Don’t rush it. Don’t get married because that is what your parents did. Don’t settle for a guy just because you’re “getting old.” You are not half of anything. You were created whole.
Now that I am married I get asked the next expectation for my life, when are you going to have kids?
Sadly, that question primarily is asked to me by other women. We should know better than to put those types of expectations on each other. Maybe I don’t want to have kids right now. Maybe I want to but I am not able to. Point is that you don’t know what another woman is going through.
Let each woman decide for herself.