The pressure to get married is real, isn’t it? From the moment you are between your mid 20’s to 30’s, you begin to receive several comments about getting married. Relatives, who never asked about your career or education, would start asking about your wedding date. It could get even worse and you would be asked to see a pastor for special prayers or a psychologist for therapy. Well, the pressure to get married is real and not just in the house, but also in the heart—you might truly want to get married or have a family of your own. And while I understand all the internal and external pressures, here is my kind of truth:

  1. Don’t rush it: There are a lot of reasons to want to rush into marriage; maybe because you are running away from old age or running away from comments, advice and critics; but still don rush it. “If you rush in, you rush out” sounds like a cliché right? But guess what, it’s true. You might meet someone and say ‘What could possiblly go wrong?’This person is completely my kind of person’ but if you don’t spend enough time with the person to be sure the person is truly your kind of person, you might find yourself enduring a bitter marriage or getting divorced. And we both know that none of these things would make you happy. So stay cool.
  2. Don’t give it all: You might have met a person, and in your bid to show that you are a 1000 yard wife material you give it all and you do it all. You know what I mean? In case you don’t know; you sleep with the person, cook for the person, wash clothes and all. When you do that, and you realize the person is not who you want to marry, you would have wasted your precious time, energy and a piece of yourself. And we don’t want that do we?
  3. Don’t act uninterested: Ah!, so, because you don’t want to seem desperate to get married, so you act totally uninterested in men. You know, the reversed psychology thing. Well, don’t do that because if you do, men would actually think you are uninterested and as a result keep away. So, even if you don’t want to act desperate, also don’t act uninterested. Be open-minded and be free to meet people.
  4. Surround yourself with positive energy: The truth is your actions can be influenced unconsciously if you are surrounded with people who keep talking about you getting married. So what you need to do is to surround yourself with positive and happy people who are genuinely interested in your growth as a human being and not people who keep disturbing you about marriage.
  5. Don’t put your life on the hold: “You can’t start a business until you are married”, “you can’t get a car until you are married”, “you can’t travel until you are married”. Don’t listen to those kinds of statements! Continue to live your life in the best and happiest way you know how to. Continue to succeed and soar high and don’t put your life on hold for any reason.
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One of the best advice I’ve gotten regarding being single is that “Live your life as a complete human being so that when a man comes, and you get married to him, he complements you and not complete you.” So, with or without a man, you are the most beautiful, fulfilling and happy version of you.

Also, remember, you are beautiful, smart and special.

Happy Women’s Day


Nifemi Adekunle

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