Different stages in the life of a woman can bring about this emotion. You can just imagine finally in your teens you are in love and the boy loves you the only way a juvenile can; you find out it’s not only you. What do you do? You use your right senses, you call him and tell him you don’t like it. Possibly he stops philandering or he doesn’t,so you break up with him and move on with your life. However Jealousy is located in your left sense and will not let you move on but you don’t want to indulge in that kind of threesome. You decide to disgracefully fight him in the presence of his friends or parents . Since he is probably unwise, he gives you the beating of your life for challenging his manhood. Or you decide instead to face the other girl or woman. You both have a go at each other right in the school premises. You disgrace yourself, your parents, and unborn children with your act of desperation. Eventually you are expelled from school. Don’t think it’s better if you fight in public; the police are there to arrest you, and you could spend a night in the cell.

Jealousy and anger createfoolish decisions which you have to live with for the rest of your life. Stigmasof shame that can never be erased.

What if he is not your boyfriend but your husband or baby daddy? All rational and peaceful efforts have been engaged to resolve the matter, buthe still wants to go about town. No man is worth fighting over. Even if you were the one that gave him his first taste of butter and bread. A man that is yours will always stay with you. Ask Anne Idibia and Pero Adeniyi. If you cannot give a good reason for running after possible STD, HIV and Gonorrhea then keep your dignity and peace of mind.

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Jealousy cannot thrive where there is love only where there is hate and self pity. Sometimes life may seem harsh and has been harsh. All your married friends and the unmarried ones have children; infact a few are already grandmothers. It definitely hurts no matter the love and assurances of your husband, ask Rachel the wife of Isaac. You then stay away from your friends. Of course some will rub it in your face. Don’t let it get to you, so you don’t find yourself in a situation where you are involved in kidnapping, making purchases at a baby factory or sleeping with a filthy herbalist who gives you poison that will scramble your ovaries. Keep your faith intact and make decisions based on common sense.

You park your car beside a jeep at the premises of your church. An old friend comes down from the car. You remain in your seat so that she will not see you. As she walks towards the church entrance. You notice how her skin is glowing. The shoes she is wearing are encrusted in diamonds. You quickly google her full name while seated in the hot sun in the church car park and discover  from her facebook page that she travels to fabulous places, wears designer clothes only. From the pictures, you notice that her children attend Ivy League schools. Her profile picture is taken while sailing on a yatch. No matter the material things a person has don’t let jealousy turn you into a mugu. Remember you are not a beggar. Remember also that we came to the world naked; even if fifty obituaries are pasted in the papers at her death she is returning to her creator naked.

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To handle jealousy always use your right senses and work at your insecurities while bearing inmindthat expressing such emotions will never be beneficial. Is it about a Prado Jeep or House in London go and work for it. Jealousy will not get it for you.

Stop going through Facebook if all you do is stalk the pictures of your ex boyfriends and their beautiful wives, while the meal you are cooking for your husband is burning.

Appreciate what you have, who you are,l even if you are aging love your cellulite and stretch marks with your jelly flesh. Love your mind, love your accomplishments.  Love the fact that you are from Ajegunle. Love the fact that you have never travelled across the ocean. Love the fact that you have not had lunch. Love your life.

Do not let anyone else use the remote control of your mind. They will always press the jealous button. It’s human nature.

Iyabo Fahm

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