Hey Fam,

As a lady, I understand that the struggle is real. The temptation from men can be great; and while you might be able to handle the temptation from single men, who most times may not be that rich, handling the temptation from married men can be a little tricky, because they could be a lot more charming, caring and wealthy. So, when you find yourself caught in a web of an attractive, rich, married man, flirting the hell with you, how do you wriggle your way out and stay on your lane? Well, I know, you might be thinking should you even wriggle your way out? But that cute little heart of yours, or your conscience, already knows that you should, which is why you are most likely reading this article. So, let’s dive in!

  1. SEE HIM AS WHO HE IS— A MARRIED MAN: The truth is you might be tempted to be with a married man because you are seeing him as a single entity. You haven’t met his wife, he rarely talks about her, so you feel like she doesn’t exist, but we both know she does. So, what you need to do is actually face the reality that the man has a wife, search for her on social media and put a face to her name, see her as a human being with a life, feelings and home and it would be easier for you to stay away from her husband.


  1. DON’T MAKE EXCUSES OR RATIONALIZE HIS ACTIONS: Don’t delude yourself; you might want to think a page in a romance novel that you read is what is happening to you, perhaps you guys found each other a little late and you are his true soulmate. You might also want to take in his excuses like they are not compatible, they are not in love anymore, she is aggressive and all that, but don’t! Stay focus and see the man as he is: He is married and you are single and you two should never be together.
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  1. CALL HIM OUT: If you can, it is actually better to call him out on his actions and let him know attempting to cheat on his marriage is wrong; let him know it is not worth it destroying his marriage over an affair, and also let him know you won’t be used as an instrument of marital dissolution. After the talk, it will set you both in your right places.


  1. AVOID HIM: It is hard to not be in a relationship with someone you chat with or see all the time. So even though chatting, and hanging out might seem harmless, it can easily turn into an affair, which is why you should avoid it.



  1. TALK TO SOMEONE: When caught up in the web of having to date a married person; talk to someone. It might be your friend or a therapist. They will be able to advise you to do the right thing; assuming it is a good friend and therapist. If you can’t afford to talk to any of the individual, then talk to God.


  1. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART: Most times, we already know what the right thing is. Our angelic heart has already whispered it to us; all we need to do is listen to it.


  1. DO A MENTAL REVERSAL OF ROLE: Picture someone you love and think about it; if you could bear anyone having an affair with the person. Think of all the pain you would feel if you found out that the person you love was cheating on you, and think of the hatred you will feel for the person who choose to have an affair with your loved one. Since you know the emotions you would have won’t be a pleasant one, then, choose to spare another man’s wife from feeling such pain and hatred. The moment you make that decision, you would be setting yourself free from the web of dating a married man.
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I know doing the right thing is never easy; staying away from a married man who has everything you want except for a wife is difficult; but the man is not meant for you, so keep off! And even if the man would not do the right thing for his marriage, do the right thing for him.

Ultimately, you would be proud of yourself.



Nifemi Adekunle


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