Girls Talk

Happiness is an Inside Job

Happiness does not depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.

-Dale Carnegie

Happiness, that feeling of cheerfulness, delight, pleasure, gladness and pure exhilaration, is something every woman desires to constantly be enveloped in. And while many have seen it as a basic reaction to external influences, and that is certainly true, what we need to realize is that it is first and foremost a reaction, and all reactions are internally born before being externally expressed.

Over the decades, maybe even centuries, songs carry messages like, “You make me happy; I would be lost without you; you are my world”. As romantic as those may sound, this line of thought, this way of looking at the role other people play in our lives appears to take from us all the responsibility of making ourselves happy, of being happy, and place such enormous responsibilities and pressure on other individuals. And when they fail to live up to our predefined expectations, we wonder why.

You know, the thing is, much as we would love to have all of our emotions wrapped up, and presented as one big beautiful package, easy to unravel, unwrap and decipher, it’s not at all that easy. We are beautifully complex creatures; fascinating in every sense of the word. Even more, we are stronger than we think we are. While on the one hand, it is unfair to put so much pressure on one individual by saying to that person, “You make me happy”, on the other hand it makes you less than you actually are. That you are willing to allow another individual determine the course you take in terms of emotional reactions and responses rather than boldly accepting responsibility for how you think, feel and ultimately act does not work in your favour.

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If you say hello to someone and the person does not give you a cheerful reply, why should that suddenly turn your otherwise perfect day into a gloomy one? Regardless of where we go, who we love, or what people think of us, we must learn to carry within us our very own internal sunshine. This is not to say that on occasion certain things will not make you feel a tad sad, so long as you pick yourself up quickly and move on, that’s fine. We need to begin to develop inner strength, just as we spend time grooming our outward bodies, so also, we need to spend time working on our minds and emotions.

Happiness in life, about certain conditions or events, comes from within us. We alone are able to determine how something, someone or someplace makes us feel. If you wake up, and the day is gloomy or dull, you must understand that it is the day which is dull, not you. How you choose to live and operate in that gloomy day is entirely up to you. Leaving the choice of whether we are happy or not to external conditions may take the focus of us for a while, it may even succeed in making other people feel guilty about our unhappiness or responsible for our happiness, but in the end we are going to have to come to terms with the reality that if ever we are truly going to enjoy living life every single day, then we have to take action by conditioning ourselves to create the atmosphere inside of us that will let happiness thrive.

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So, let your internal sunshine radiate, giving your outward appearance a glow that money can’t buy.

Life is beautiful!

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