Life couldn’t be better for us. I got a promotion about a month after the wedding. Ifemi started talking about having children but I just could not imagine that yet. I just got promoted to the position of assistant manager. Work would definitely become hectic so getting pregnant would just mess up my plans.
One night, we came back from work and just finished having dinner, we had this big conversation, I remember it vividly like it was yesterday even though it was 3 years ago. Ifemi said, “IB we can’t just postpone starting a family indefinitely just because of your job. You knew I wanted a family as soon as we got married. You knew this right from the start. You used to feel the same way and I don’t get why you are suddenly having a change of heart”. I was so angry that day; I just did could not get what the whole fuss was about. I told him straight on, “Now I see why they say men are so selfish. You know how much this promotion means to me and suddenly you just can’t give me a break. I told you my work schedule will become hectic because of this new position. All I have asked for is a year to settle in before I start pumping babies. Now we are married, you think whatever you desire is law? Ifemidayo, you are joking. Except it is not my body that will carry the babies, that is when you can be getting impatient. As for me, I am not ready and that is final.” I looked into my husband’s eyes and I have never seen such anger in him before. I expected him to lash out in more anger but he just quietly turned and went to bed. I was proud of myself for making my point clear. I just felt Ifemi was being selfish just because our salaries would be the same with this new promotion I got.
The next day, I went to the hospital during lunch hour and fixed IUD as a protection. After all, the lack of contraceptive against pregnancy is the beginning of foolishness. I could not trust Ifemidayo not to get me pregnant intentionally and he would never support any permanent contraceptive so I just did it anyway. I’ll take it off codedly when I am ready. After that day, I stopped arguing with him about having babies. In fact, the next time he raised the issue, I simply said okay. He would never know I have sorted myself. Ifemidayo began to take special care of me after then. He would buy me fruits, make sure I took enough vegetables, read everything and anything about women trying to have babies. He made me start taking folic acid at some point in the hope that it would prepare my body for pregnancy.
The sex was very regular and it was fun for me. He even started making me calculate my ovulation period. After one year of making so much effort, Ifemi started getting worried. I thought about telling him about the contraceptive I have fixed but work was more hectic than I thought and I could not jeopardize that yet especially now that we were building our own house. How would I support him if I lost my job? I thanked God for the wonderful in laws I have because Ifemi’s mum is truly one of those mothers that does not intrude. There was a time I even felt bad because the pastor recommended a 7days fast in church for people that want children. Ifemi made sure we did the fast. I joined him in doing that but I used the opportunity to pray for other things.
My Manager suddenly knocks on my door and that cuts into my thoughts. Ibukun, “have you done the 3D designs for Glamour concepts Ltd yet? Yes sir, I am bringing it to the meeting now. I looked at my watch. It is time for Friday meeting. I was totally lost in thought sha. I didn’t even know I had been sitting on my desk for 2 hours already. I got busy with work all through that day and I didn’t get back to my thoughts until my drive home at 7pm that night. Sometime last year, I finally decided I wanted to have children. It was not fun seeing Ifemi suffer and seeing all my friends cute babies wasn’t helping matter either. I decided to take out the IUD but I still haven’t gotten around to it yet.
This morning, Ifemi called me that he has booked an appointment for us tomorrow to see a gynaecologist and do some check up to make sure all is well. I have tried for so long to avoid this but today, he was very adamant. I am thinking maybe I should just tell him about the contraceptive or try and remove it early in the morning before we go to the appointment at 2pm. I do not even want to imagine Ifemi’s reaction and actions if I tell him. I will quietly remove it in the morning. I was so lost in thought, I didn’t see the truck parked in the middle of the road, all I heard was the crash and I just blacked out. My last thoughts were of my beloved..