Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary defines confidence as a belief in your own ability to do things and be successful. Confidence has become a rare trait in most ladies today. Many ladies feel they are not good enough owing to many factors among which are peer pressure which leads them to make poor choices, very materialistic and competitive society which puts undue pressure on them to chase after shadows and pretend to be who they are not.

Often, people erroneously assume that outgoing and vocal ladies are more confident than ladies who are reserved and not given to much talking. That is not always the case, as what is being displayed is personality traits and not confidence. What is important for ladies is to grow their inner confidence.

Ways through which we display inner confidence

  1. Self-love. You can often tell when a lady has self-love. It is usually glaring. She would take good care of herself and nurture herself. She wouldn’t put herself down because she knows she is beautifully and wonderfully made. She celebrates her uniqueness and abilities. She doesn’t wallow in self-pity over what she doesn’t have or ‘seemingly’ disadvantages.
  2. Self-knowledge- a lady who has strong self-knowledge is normally reflective. She can reflect on her feelings, thoughts and behaviours and is often interested in how she is perceived. A lady with self-knowledge is aware of her strengths and weaknesses and focuses on her strengths while working on her weakness to translate them into strengths. She has a strong sense of her values and beliefs hence, she is very unlikely to engage in activities that are not in sync with her value system. She is self-aware and doesn’t follow the crowd. She makes very good choices on almost all fronts because she knows what is good for her.
  3. Clear goals. A confident lady has a strong sense of purpose. Ladies should get into the habit of setting goals which will lead to more energy, more motivation and a sense of accomplishment. Nothing is impossible as long as one is ready to pay the price.
  4. Positive thinking. Some ladies are fond of belittling themselves. They have this naughty habit of always putting themselves down. They don’t step out boldly as guys because they are afraid of what others think about them. A confident lady looks to the bright side of life. She always expects good things to happen to her which often does because ‘as a man/lady thinketh in his/her heart, so is he/she’. She believes in the best possible outcome. She doesn’t focus on negative outcomes because her mind is focused on doing her best. She believes in the best in people and is an incurable optimist.
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Each human being has both high and low moments. But no lady should prison herself as to remain in a low state. Regardless of whatever background you have or whatever negative experience you have had, you’ve got to dust your shoes and keep running the face confidently. You’ve got to believe in yourself. You’ve got to get up from the bed daily and affirm yourself by saying, ‘I am beautiful, I am important, I am confident, I am intelligent, I am courageous, I am loving, I am deserving, I am strong, I am creative, I am an achiever par excellence, I am visionary, I am inspiring, I am a solution provider and I add value wherever I go.

Wake up from the self-delusion that you don’t have what it takes. Delete that line from your vocabulary because really, you’ve got what it takes to be all you can possibly be. Chase your dreams; doggedly go after your goal regardless of the odds. You are the next face to be seen on magazines, adverts, books and bill boards across the globe as a lady changing the world because she chose to be confident enough to chase her dreams.

To your success confident-lady.


Oluwakemi Zaccheaus

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