I have tried on more than one occasion to explain to my husband why we should have only two children, but he still insists that he wants three. My second baby was born through Caesarean Section after a very difficult pregnancy. What do I need to do to make him see that his request sounds selfish? (Fadeke, Lagos)
I salute your courage and desire to keep your home, but it shouldn’t also be to your peril. Marriage is a symbiotic relationship where each party contributes his/her quota to making the relationship a successful one. However, you will still have to defer to him. You would have to ask him if there’s a particular sex he wants or perhaps he grew up in a full house with many siblings. The caveat is you’ll have to present your viewpoints whenever he’s in a good mood. You could also respectfully make him know that it’s not enough to have babies; rather, each parent should be preoccupied with giving each life that comes through them a quality life- spiritually, mentally, socially, academically, physically, financially, and in all spheres. No one should bring babies into this world if such a person is not ready to sacrifice time, resources, commitment and love to raising up wholesome and well-balanced kids. Your kids shouldn’t suffer what you both suffered. You could begin to make investments for them from now. It’s never too early. You could begin with a college fund account, you could buy shares, stocks or treasury bills for them, you could also buy properties in their names which you will keep and present to them after they are married or attain an accountable age. Commit to raising kind, selfless, loving, visionary, honest, excellent and responsible children and the world would be the better for it. Raising high-quality children is not cheap. It comes at a price, and you must be ready to pay for it if you want the benefits that accrue to it.
God’s got your back sis.
If you have questions you would like our counsellor to respond to, kindly send your question via email to email@example.com