Most times, people utter the statement, ‘They are just my friends, not my close friends‘.

This statement is not wrong as there are no rules regarding how many friends or close friends you should have. The number and intensity of friendships may need to change from period to period. Some friends may last a week while some may last a lifetime, sticking closer than even siblings.

It is extremely normal for humans to crave connection with other people. Studies show that close friendships help people live longer and lower the rates of mental health disorders. This does not mean more or fewer friendships are ideal. What it suggests is that it is important that you create enough time for deeper friendships with people. So, you may need to be more intentional about making and keeping friends.

To achieve this, you may need to ask yourself some questions before you begin to build your friendships. Here are a few of the questions.

Do you complain a lot?

If you are the type that constantly complains about how life is unfair to you, people won’t care to spend a lot of time with you. When you complain, you push them away. So, avoid complaining.

Am I selfish?

Friendships require you to give, even when you don’t feel like it. If you only do what you want when you want it, without putting others into consideration, you might not be able to keep friends for long. True friends give to each other selflessly.

Do you actually care?

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If you don’t care about yourself or your family members, how will you care about your friends? To have friends is to know what is happening in their lives, care enough to ask and step in to help where necessary. It is important to show interest in how your friends are doing.

How jealous are you?

If you feel jealous of your friends’ achievements, it will most likely lead to problems and a lot of frustration. So, if you don’t find joy in celebrating others, you will need to work on that attitude before you begin to think of forming deep friendships.

Do you really need many friends?  Probably not! However, it is good to have close friends, because with them, you’d feel less alone.

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