Issues crop up in relationships constantly; and marriage is no exception. How issues are resolved, however, impacts greatly on the relationship. Talking about sensitive issues could be sometimes difficult, but if done well, it will enhance your relationship a great deal.
Sensitive issues in marriage include finance and money, sex and in-laws. When such issues are not handled well, it could lead to a strain in the relationship or an endless cycle of conflicts and arguments. This is why it is important to communicate effectively.
Communication in marriage, especially when tackling delicate matters, may be difficult due to lack of experience from either or both parties. Sometimes we find it difficult to communicate because of our upbringing. Many were raised in an atmosphere of fear and subordination; where you do not get to express yourself freely and confidently. These inadequacies get transferred into marriage and when not deliberately and consciously dealt with may result in a series of misunderstandings and conflict.
It is important that right from courtship, couples begin to learn how to communicate well with each other. Sensitive topics can come up for discussion at any time and it could be triggered by any event or circumstance. Therefore, we need to be prepared beforehand to deal with issues and communicate effectively.
Here are some suggestions to help us better discuss sensitive issues;
Be informed. Get resources, books and materials on communication, improving body language, using the right tone of voice and the art of listening. These will help to improve our communication skills.
Get practical skills. Shelves of books on marriage address the role of communication. Improving body language, word choice, and tone of voice will greatly improve your results.
Time and place. It is important to pick the right time and place for your discussion. If you are talking about sensitive issues, it is better to get rid of distractions like TV or phones to avoid frequent interruptions. Find a time when children will not get in the way. However, do not let things escalate in a bid to find the perfect timing.
The right opening. One of the most practical things to do is to start your discussion with prayer. This habit can transform your marriage as you invite the Holy Spirit to guide your conversation. It also helps you steer clear of the porthole of confronting your spouse impulsively.
The past is past. Avoid bringing up past issues while trying to resolve new ones, let bygones be bygones. It may be helpful to get a mediator if your disagreements do not usually come to a conclusive end. Many times, a mediator may help you both come to terms in your diverging perspectives.
Separate person from issues. Avoid attacking each other, do not focus on who is right, but on what is right. If you attack the problem and not the person, you are helping to create a healthy atmosphere of communication and deep intimacy.
Partner with your spouse. While it is important to talk about issues and resolve them, remember that the ultimate goal is the preservation of the relationship between you and your spouse. It is not to give judgment to the right party. You are not prosecutors on each other. Remember that after discussing sensitive topics, there is still an existing relationship between you worth sustaining.
Finally, always keep love and respect flowing ceaselessly.