Communication is one of the vital elements that keep a relationship – marriage, courtship, or friendship – going. Communicating effectively helps a relationship to blossom. How we communicate is also very important; a lot of misunderstandings stem from miscommunication. Here are a few nuggets from Pastor Bimbo Odukoya on communicating effectively in your relationship.
Mutuality in talking
If talking is one-sided in a relationship, it cannot work. If a man is a dictator in his home, the home cannot succeed. Dictators are people who run countries not homes; dictatorship is a kind of relationship approved by no one. If one person is a dictator, a successful relationship cannot be built. Respect does not imply keeping quiet when your spouse is wrong. You can respectfully talk and correct someone. Therefore both sides must talk, one after the other, air their views and opinions and reach a mutual decision.
Speak words of love and edification
Every time you talk, you deposit something into the life of somebody. Love is the greatest influence you can have on someone; if you love someone, you will affect the person. Love brings access, there is no one that has access to you like your husband or your wife and access is one of the greatest gifts anyone can give you. If you love someone, you will open up to the person and the person will affect you positively.
Those that you love and respect influence you more than those that do not, what they say matters to you. Be careful of what you say to someone you love. Say words of love, encouragement and wisdom to your spouse. Say to them words that will make them bold, walk with their shoulders high and succeed.
What we think and say builds the home. The basic way to build is by words. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. If a relationship is not going on well, change the focus, because what you think determines what you say. Guard your heart, feed it with right stuff so that you can have good things to think about and say. Keep your mind stayed on God so that you can have peace and speak words of peace.
Your relationship with man is a reflection of your relationship with God. You cannot have a good relationship with man if you do not have a good relationship with God. If you do not build yourself with the Word of God and prayer, you cannot have the right things to say. If you want your spouse to be a good person, encourage him to build his relationship with God. Perception is a function of who you are; if you want to see right, you must think right.
Invest in love
If you are going to love somebody, you must give the person your time. If you do not give enough time, there cannot be love because you create time for what you love. If you do not build on and invest in love, it will not grow. There must be time for love to grow.
Marriage is a spiritual thing; it is all about giving. Love is all about giving. If you love someone, you put the needs and feelings of the person before yours. Love does not change the other person to what you can love, it will not work, it will only make the person feel worthless.