I am in my mid-thirties and still a virgin. My boyfriend of about 6 weeks has started asking for sex. What should I do? After all, I am not getting any younger, and he may be the one. Please advise. (Jane, Ife)

Congratulations sis. I’m glad that you have kept yourself up until now. Very few ladies can boast of chastity at this age. And for you to have remained chaste till now, it wouldn’t be wise to give your pearls to a riff raff, permit me to use that word. I learned years ago that true love waits. Whoever truly loves you shouldn’t ‘eat your fruit before harvest’. You’ve waited too long to give up now. On no account should you compromise your standard all because you want to please a boyfriend who doesn’t have your interest at heart. To prove his love, ask him how he would feel to learn that his favourite younger sister has been having sex with her boyfriend, not husband. Check his reaction; you can tell if he’s truthful and if he’s not. You’ll only be short-changing yourself to condescend so low as to throw away what you’ve been jealously guarding all these years because of a boyfriend who does not know your worth. Your virginity should be graciously guarded and presented to your husband after you’ve gotten wedded.

The Bible encourages us in 1 Corinthians 6: 18 to ‘flee from fornication’. Your body is the temple of God and for you to live maximally; you would have to obey His instructions. Like it is said, HIV is not written on the face, neither are other sexually transmitted diseases. In order to safeguard your life and future, I’ll advise you to stick to God’s commands. His commands are for our benefits and not for our destruction.

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Please note that sex doesn’t bind or glue a relationship. What makes you think that once he’s had a taste of you, he wouldn’t elope in search of another naïve virgin? If he truly loves you, he’ll wait till you are both married to have sex, anything outside that would be foolhardy. Exercise a little more patience, and the man of your dreams will come your way and after you’re married, you can both enjoy sex without any fear or guilt. Sex in marriage is both pleasurable and pleasing to God whereas outside of marriage, it is not only inimical to the health of both parties but also attracts God’s punishment because it is a sin.


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