Do you desire to be that superb wife your husband constantly finds irresistible and refuses to “look elsewhere”? Here are some useful points to help you achieve that.
- Nagging never works
There is a difference between asking and nagging. It is nagging when you constantly complain about something, this makes men bored and withdrawn. Once you have complained to your husband about something once or twice, you should not make it a habit of reminding him and rubbing it in. For example, maybe he has a particular habit that is not so comely, you could have a tete-a-tete with him on the matter, after which you leave him to adjust. Even if he does not, you should pray for him, because nagging him about it would not necessarily change him, rather, prayer works wonders. Remember, your husband is an authority and a covering over you, you should not reprimand him the way you do your child. In addition, respect his way of doing things. Indeed, for any relationship to thrive, you need to let go and not expect things to be always done to your standards.
- Find Your Balance
You and your husband have peculiar areas of strength. Capitalise on his areas of strength and complement him. For example, you could be better at saving and financial management, encourage him in that area. Let your strengths make up for his weaknesses and let his strengths make up for your weaknesses as well; this is what makes marriage beautiful and makes you a stronger team. If you are better at cooking, then take the initiative. Once you’re able to identify your strengths, as a couple you’ll be able to find a balance.
- Give him his dues
A man that is sexually satisfied is psychologically balanced, happier and has a higher productivity rate. Try out new styles, let there be variety in your sex life. Try different places; the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room. Even if you have people staying with you, you can take advantage of when they are not around. Give him early morning doses before he goes to work or his business, that way, you’ve made his day! A man that is sexually satisfied would less likely to cheat on his wife.
Your husband is not a mind reader, neither are you. Do not keep emotions and issues bottled up within. If there is an issue, discuss it. If he offends you or you are unhappy about something, bring it to his attention. The solution is to communicate effectively without getting upset and frustrated.
- Make Time for Him
Make your husband a priority in your life. It is easy to forget to tend your marriage when kids start coming and the demands of career, chores and family life increase. Create time for your husband, say, “I love you” to him constantly. Give him pleasant surprises like his favourite meal, plan a surprise date night or go to the movies; just be creative in making time for him.
- Confide in him
Before making important decisions ask for your husband’s opinions and contributions. Carry him along before taking steps; include him in the decision making process. It could be major things like parenting issues, maybe choice of school for your children, or it could be domestic things like household purchase or groceries, involve him, carry him along. Defer to him, follow his choices and decisions on behalf of your family and home, allow him to take the lead. That is why he is the leader and head of the home; there cannot be two drivers in a vehicle, there would be a crash. Pray for him continually that God will give him wisdom to lead your home and make the right decisions for the family.
- Keep up your glam
You remember how you used to look glamorous for him on your outings and dates; your beauty probably attracted you to him. You should not stop this after marriage. In fact, you should ask for his opinion on your choice of wears and wardrobe because your purpose is to attract him, look good for him and none other. After a few years of marriage, it’s easy to get comfortable and not try as hard as you once did. Obviously, you don’t have to get dressed up every day but once in a while it’s nice to take an extra five minutes to beautify yourself. Your husband will notice your efforts and it will help to reignite the flame. There is a popular saying that ko si arugbo ni Ghana, there is no old person in Ghana. In other words, you are not too old to make yourself attractive for your husband.
- Don’t Step On His Pride
Does it help his ego if he is the one who does the dishes, bathes the children, or does some other chores? Perhaps he takes pride in doing laundry. Allow him to do them if doing the tasks makes him feel good; besides you don’t have to overburden yourself. If accomplishing a certain task helps him feel more “manly”, then allow him to do it.
- Be a prayerful woman
This is one of the most useful advices I got just before and shortly after I got married. If you pray more, you will have less arguments and struggles. You should continually pray for your husband that God will give him wisdom to steer the course of the family in the right direction. God says that if anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask from Him who gives generously without finding fault. Ask God to give your husband wisdom. Even when he is about to make a wrong decision or move, and you have talked over it, yet he does not budge; pray about it, committing his heart to God in prayer. You would be surprised that he would change his mind faster than you think. It is also helpful that you have mentors that you both submit to. They could help to wade in if things become critical, God forbid.