In the bank yesterday to send some money a young man walked in and asked me, ‘are you the last person? ‘

I shook my head and gestured to the lady who had just come in and was filling her teller or so. That is how I entered agbako.

The lady attacked me,  ‘I am not the last!  It is not my portion! I reject it! I will never carry last! (at this point she made that helicopter rotor hand movement around her head and snapped it in my direction).

I was too surprised to even react. Na so I open mouth dey look like who throwaway penalty. But Shebi Bible also talk it that the first shall be the last and the last the first? I asked. That seemed to incense her more. Meanwhile the young man who asked for the last person just quiet like graveyard.

The bank officials succeeded in calming her down but she was still throwing daggers at me with her eyes as if I resemble her village witches.

I quickly paid in the money and rushed outside to use ATM. Meanwhile there was another queue there. I was still thinking about how to construct my question to avoid another scene when the same lady came again. Immediately she saw me she tie her face like wrapping paper, she was so busy eyeing me, (and trust me, I eye am back) she did not look at where she was going to again so she missed her step.

“Back to sender!” She screamed! I just ignored her. I have been thinking of how to reconstruct the grammar of who is the last person to avoid drama. Religion just makes some people stupid.

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Jude Ochuko


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