Ladies, once you get engaged to the man of your dreams, your next step is to win over the woman who is first in his heart, his mother.
Many will say this is nearly impossible, especially if he is a mummy’s boy and will do anything she says. How the wife gets along with his mother will determine many things.
Here are five ways to make your mother-in-law love you:
- Be a GREAT cook….just not greater than her.
Every mother believes she is the best chef to her children and she needs you to appreciate this fact and respect it.
If the subject of food comes up, concede and say you’re cooking is good but can’t match up to hers. This may not be the case, but you letting her know her cooking is still valued in her son’s eyes will make her see you as a friend, not competitor.
That way, she won’t feel a need to bring down your cooking skills all the time.
- Open a line of communication with her.
Your mother-in-law doesn’t have to be your best friend or closest confidant but she can be involved in some part of your life.
Talk to her about things: it could be as minor as which cake to have at your wedding or even as major as a personal problem you have. Study her and see how well she deals with similar issues with your son and talk to her about them. She will feel valued and important for you to come to her.
However, if you know she likes to expose and escalate your problems, tell her as little as possible and make sure it’s things that don’t count. Let her think she knows it all while you stay a step ahead.
- Schedule regular visits to her.
Ultimately, the mother will feel like she is losing her son and will feel lonely. This is why she may reach out and want to come and sleep over and other things you may not like.
Visiting her often with your husband or with the kids will make her feel loved and like an important part of your life. She will also be a great baby sitter when you and your husband need some time alone which will give her time to bond with her children.
Being the one to visit her shows you care and you don’t want her to be the one chasing you down. She will have respect for you.
- Pick your battles.
You are bound to clash with your mother-in-law over one thing or the other and when it happens, you will feel a need to lash out and fight for yourself but you need to pick your battles.
Let her win some battles so that when something major comes up and you speak up, what you say will have a lot of weight. Your husband too will side you because he will notice you don’t always complain over everything.
She will also surprise you by ending the argument after you talk, out of respect for you.
- Indulge in a hobby she likes.
Find out what your mother-in-law likes and get involved in it. You may not like the hobby or be interested in it, but ask her about it and find out how she is doing.
If you are interested in it, let her teach you and get more involved with it. This way you will bond over something she loves and after some time, her love for the hobby will also extend to you and she will love you more.