To help you set off on your own mission of spousal encouragement, here are 10 little notes of encouragement you can give your husband.
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 28:22)
Although I’m still a newlywed, I’ve clung to this verse throughout the last year. Not to hold it over my husband’s head as a reminder of what a treasure I am, but as a reminder that I want to be a gift to my husband. And not just any subpar “good” gift, but a wholesomely good gift from the Lord.
One way I strive to do this is to leave little notes of love and support around the house for my husband, maybe in his Bible or by his coffee or on the steering wheel of his car.
But it doesn’t matter where you leave the notes! What matters the most is letting your husband know that you’re not only thinking of him, but you’re thinking highly of him.
1. You’re My Best Friend
It’s so great that you love your husband, but it’s even better you enjoy and like your husband.
Once you’re in a serious relationship, it can be so simple to say the word “love” over and over and over again. But the majority of life isn’t grand sweep-me-of-my-feet moments. It’s a lot of little tender moments mixed into the day-to-day of life. That’s why it’s important to let your husband know that you like him, too.
Jot him a quick note that there’s no one else you’d rather have as a best friend, a travel buddy, and a Netflix-bringing partner in crime.
Bonus: Leave this note with a sweet treat to share during your next movie night
2. I Love You
Leave your husband a note that talks about your love for him, you let him know that you’re actually in love with him. It’s not just a robotic response that flies out of your mouth when you’re walking out the door or going to bed at night.
Reassuring your hubby of your love gives him peace of mind, especially on those days when you don’t seem to like each other very much.
Bonus: Describe how your love has grown over the time that you’ve known each other. Give him specific examples of when you felt your love grow deeper.
3. Thank You
Who doesn’t like to feel appreciated? Answer: No one!
You can thank him for surprising you with a clean home when you got home from a girls’ trip away. You might want to recognize his work ethic, and how he gives his all to support your family. You can even just write a thank you note calling out all the different roles he serves, like being your provider, your go-to sounding board, and your number one fan.
Bonus: Pick up a 99-cent thank you card the next time you’re at the store. Keep it on hand for an extra-special thank you to your hubby.
4. I Trust You
Husbands were biblically modeled to be the head of the household, and one deep desire men have is to be respected. Nothing will communicate your respect for your hubs better than letting him know how much you trust him.
Bonus: Humbly write this note after you’ve had an issue arise when you weren’t fully trusting your husband’s lead. This is probably going to take some prayer, but I’m a firm believer that good things happen through talking with the Lord.
5. I’m Praying for You
Girl, cover your husband in prayer. In my mind, one of the best aspects of marriage is knowing someone is always in your court praying for you. It’s your turn to be that person for your husband.
Bonus: Keep a log of the prayers you’ve been praying for your husband and note how God answers. God will leave you in awe!
6. I’m Proud of You
Because we feel like we’re extra affirming to our husbands, we might assume our husband knows we’re proud of him. But, ladies, your husband wants to hear that you are proud of him. Very few things leave your husband feeling more cherished as the head of your marriage than letting him know you’re proud of him.
Tell your hubby you’re proud of him after a significant accomplishment like running a race he’s been training for or receiving an honor or promotion at work. Also, let your husband know you’re proud of him when his character shines, like refusing to compromise his integrity to gain a leg-up at work or stopping to pray with someone who’s having a hard day.
Bonus: Leave this note with a special treat. Maybe it’s his favorite snack, or a promise of his favorite dinner to celebrate.
7. We’re a Team
Life is hard. And while marriage implies that you and your husband are a team, it’s always a good reminder to hear that you are approaching life as partners.
When your husband seems to be carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, remind him that you are a team. When something appears unable to be overcome, let him know that you’re by his side. When you hit a bump in parenting styles, remind him that you’re going to get through this together.
Bonus: Add to your note that God is the captain of your team and include Ecclesiastes 4:12, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
8. I Love When You
Tell him that you love when he opens the door for you, when he kisses you on the forehead as you leave for work, and when he’s in a slap-happy mood and can’t stop laughing at the funny video you shared on Instagram.
Most importantly, as you let your husband know what you love, let him know why it means so much to you. He’ll enjoy hearing about how he’s done such a great job treasuring you and filling you with joy. It’s a win-win!
Bonus: Pick up a romantic card from the store and fill it to the brim with things your husband does that you love.
9. I Want You
Take a page of Songs of Songs and leave your husband a steamy note. Explain to your husband all the things you love about the intimate side of your relationship, and feel free to include specific details.
The crucial part of this note is to stay comfortable. If it isn’t your style to write a sexy note, then don’t! There’s no pressure to be something you’re not.
Bonus: Leave this note for him to find the second he gets home. Tell him where you’ll be waiting for him in the house. Light a few candles and have a romantic evening together.
10. You’re the Best
Women aren’t the only ones who face immense peer pressure. Your hubby is exposed to those seemingly perfect lives on Instagram, too. He’ll see the fitness models with their bulging biceps, the megapastors preaching to the masses, or the high school friend whose start-up was just featured in the New York Times.
While all these voices are telling your husband that he needs to be more and do more, make your voice powerful enough to silence the others. Let him know that you think he is the best, that he does enough and is enough. Call out specific aspects of his life that are phenomenal and remind him of his identity in Christ.
Bonus: Every once in a while, give your husband a public shout. This could be on social media, but it could be as simple as bragging about him to your in-laws at your next family holiday gathering. Let him see you appreciating him in front of others.